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Getting married is very much like
going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when
you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that
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Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.
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Q: Why are husbands like lawn mowers?
A: They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half the
time!
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Husband to wife: Why do you keep reading our marriage licence?
Wife to Husband: I'm looking for a loophole
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The definition of a perfect Wife? - one who helps the husband with the
dishes..
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Men are like chocolate bars.... sweet, smooth, and they usually head
right for your hips.
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A little kid asks his Dad, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get
married?"
"No idea," replied the Father, "I'm still paying for it..."
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There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her.
They got married - now he is going through Hell!!!
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Q: Why do brides wear white?
A: To blend in with everything else in the kitchen.
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One day a man inserted an 'advert' in the local classifieds: "Wife
wanted".
Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing:
"You can have mine."
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What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? -
Well, it's the same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no
intention of driving
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Marriage - an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and
the woman gets her Masters.
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After a lengthy quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a
fool when I married you."
The husband replied: "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice
it."
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Behind every great man there is a surprised woman. - Maryon Pearson
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A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. -
Michel de Montaigne
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Marriage changes passion ... suddenly you're in bed with a relative. -
Unknown
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Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.
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Can you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of happy, fat
women. - Marion Smith
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Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it
anyway. - Joey Adams
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There's only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as I learn
what it is I'll get married again. - Clint Eastwood
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The most dangerous food a man can eat is wedding cake - Unknown.
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A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage. - Marvin Kitman
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After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just
can't face each other, but still they stay together. - Hemant Josh
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I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and
stupid. - Dorothy Parker
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A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve is extracted -
Helen Rowland
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Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live
with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck
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Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a
restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music
and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays. - Henry Youngman
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Marriage is an adventure, like going to war. - G. K. Chesterton
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I like to wake up each morning feeling a new man. - Jean Harlow
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To the 2 secrets of a long lasting and happy marriage
...Here's to good sense of humor and a short memory!
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Married life has many Ups and Downs...May most of yours be between the
sheets!
